But I'm trying to get back in shape. It's been a slow process, and even though I felt like I wasn't doing enough, what I WAS managing to do would sometimes feel like overdoing it.
I am impatient with this. I know how I feel on the bike when I'm fit. Right now I'm not close to that feeling. At the moment there is doubt as to weather I can ever get back there. Maybe my treatment knocked my aerobic potential down a peg or two.
Today I took my mountain bike up to the rocky trails outside of Frederick, MD. It's something I've meant to do before, but that resolve would evaporate in the morning.
This morning I got myself out of the house. At this stage showing up is much more important than the performance. I just have to hope that will come.
Once I got close to my trails I started to really get excited, remembering past winter rides. It was an unexpected feeling and I let myself enjoy it.
Once I got on the trails reality set in. I felt lacking in power and endurance. I didn't climb well and I took a number of breaks. The first lap was hard. Actually the first half of the first lap was the hardest. It DID get better. I felt good enough to try a second lap. I avoided the muddiest parts for a slightly shorter lap. I felt better climbing. A little.
I was pleased to NOT be wiped out at the end. I was smart today and not only brought some food, but ate it, too.
Still working on a weekly routine in the cold to get some improvement.